To Do List for the First 10 Minutes of the Day

1. Shut off the alarm clock.
2. Stare at the ceiling.
3. Debate calling in sick.
4. Think about Diane. Did she hear what you said yesterday?
5. Get really in your head about Diane.
6. Pull yourself together and sit up in bed.
7. Sigh.
8. Lay down again
9. Seriously think about how you can turn this whole Diane situation around.
10. Get out of bed and walk to the kitchen.
11. Attempt to make coffee, but then realize that you’re out of coffee filters.
12. Make a cone out of a paper towel and use that as a coffee filter.
13. Pat yourself on the back because that paper towel cone actually worked!
14. Ew, gross. Spoke too soon. Spit out coffee grounds that got through your brilliant paper towel cone invention.
15. Accept the fact that things are going to be weird between you and Diane for the next few days.
16. Go to work.