I’m About To Write Some Bad Lyrics: Part 10— #GirlBoss
The final track on my new album, Homemade Nonsense, continues with the theme of awful labor practices. It is a song about Multi Level Marketing schemes like Lularoe, Arbonne, Amway, and many, many more that prey on stay-at-home moms, immigrants, and other communities just looking to support their families. This song is sung from the point of view of one of the “huns” sending a long Facebook message to a girlfriend asking if she wants to take advantage of an aMaZiNg OpPoRtUnItY to sell whatever junk the company makes. In many ways the people who recruit new victims into the scheme are themselves a victim of the same scheme.
If the lyrics strike your fancy, I’d love it if you considered buying my album on Bandcamp or iTunes or save it to your Spotify account! The album is out as of right now!
#GirlBoss
Hey girl
I know this is out of the blue
We haven’t talked
Since senior year of high school
Well I’m good, no great,
No my life is pure bliss
And I have an opportunity
That you won’t wanna miss
How would you like to be your own boss
Wear the crown and sit on your throne
You can even do it in your spare time
No longer be another mindless office drone
If this message has your interest piqued
Let me know so that you can be
Another Hashtag Girl Boss
With a nominal $500 buy-in cost
So what do you say
I can sign you up today
And you join me as a Hashtag Girl Boss
I can see
That you have no interest
Well why’s that
Are you afraid of success
I’m offering a chance
to change your life
So you can be a better mother
Be a better wife
I’m inviting you to join the elite
A sisterhood of boss babes
Sign up two people, get a discounted fee
Plus a cut of any sales they might make
So tell me now what do you say
Would you like to sign up today
And be a Hashtag Girl Boss
It’s definitely not a cult if that’s what you thought
There’s no ulterior plan
And I swear it’s not a scam
Come along and be a Hashtag Girl Boss
Don’t you wanna join a team of awesome ladies
Who all look alike and drive the same white Mercedes
You can send your kids to college
Pay the mortgage on your house
You can take a vacation
Take your husband out
It’s not just a job,
You know what they say
If you love what you do
Then I won’t have to work a single day
Okay
Sorry to keep you so long
I thought you were a Girl Boss
But I guess I was wrong
Let me know
If you happen to change your mind
And if you wanna buy some products
Here’s a link to my website
I’ve got way too much extra inventory
Boxes piled up in my house
And I’m running out of people to reach out to
Already burned every bridge in town
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine
But if you happen to change your mind
Come be a Hashtag Girl Boss
Selling overpriced organic lotions and lip gloss
Sure it’s technically
A pyramid scheme
But that’s the price to pay to be a Hashtag Girl Boss
All you have to do is sell this junk until you’re dead
And ignore that little voice in your head that says
That you’re about to make a bad decision
You’re about to make a bad decision
You’re about to make a bad decision
You’re about to make a bad decision
Hailing from New Hampshire and living in New York City, Kevin Froleiks is a failed stand-up comedian turned failing musician. His music tends to jump from genre to genre in ways that are disorienting and hard to market effectively. He is a true DIY artist, recording and producing his music entirely in his bedroom. He is the writer and composer of the forthcoming Vampire’s Kiss: The Musical as well as the co-writer and composer of Great Frontier: A Poorly Researched Musical About Lewis And Clark which premiered at the New York Theatre Fest in the summer of 2017. His newest album, Homemade Nonsense, comes out on January 7th on Bandcamp and all streaming services.
