An Open Letter to September 10, 2001

Dear September 10th 2001,

You were a pretty great day. The sun was out, the birds were singing, and George W. Bush was getting to ready to read “My Pet Goat” at a Florida elementary school. I’m sure he thought to himself, “This is gonna be a pretty good week.”

Oh yeah, and also the world wasn’t falling into chaos. That was really cool of you, September 10th, 2001.

Sure, I was 13 at the time. I was a little chubby and had braces, but that was as bad as the day was going to get. I really appreciated that about you, September 10th, 2001. You may not have brought the whole nation together, but you also didn’t go to shit first thing in the morning.

When I was 13 I was so scared of everything. Bullies were scary, talking to girls was scary, going to high school next fall was scary. But I knew that one day I wouldn’t be scared any more, because adults never get scared. September 10th, 2001 was the last day that I got to think that.

Let me ask you something, September 10th, 2001, do you remember the big news stories that happened on your day? Me neither, and I think that’s a shame. Here’s a fun news headline from from September 10th, 2001 from the Los Angeles Times.

“Plastic Chemical Could Harm Babies”

That’s how innocent a time you were, September 10th 2001. We had no idea that you shouldn’t dump plastic chemicals on babies.

Anyways, I just wanted you to know that I love you, September 10th, 2001. You were a really great day that I feel like no one truly appreciated. Sure, some people still didn’t like you because you were the start of the work week, but who knew that just around the corner was a Tuesday with a serious case of the Mondays?

That’s right, I know I’ve kind of been avoiding the topic, but your pal Tuesday the 11th was a bit of a problem child to say the least. That’s why I like you, September 10th 2001, you didn’t cause any trouble.

Love,
Kevin

Kevin Froleiks is a New York based comedian. He currently writes for the UCB sketch comedy team, House of Birds. He is also the co-writer and composer of Great Frontier: A Poorly Researched Musical About Lewis And Clark. Follow him on twitter. His comedy album, Jokes I Don’t Really Do Anymore, is available on bandcamp.